Watching more movies & TV together – the opportunity to discuss drugs and alcohol

It’s easy for some parents and harder for others - to start that conversation with their kids about drugs & alcohol. A conversation that is better started both when they are younger and before they use or think about using. It’s also one of those conversations that is best continued over the entire time they live with you. But how? One tactic is to take advantage of a 3rd party - in this case the TV. TV and movies present all kinds of alcohol and drug related topics for discussion.

Conversation starters: 

“Wow, that character is drinking a lot of alcohol, why do you think he’s doing that; how do you think it’s affecting his decision making?”

“Did you notice how much they were drinking in this film? What do you think about that? What is the writer trying to accomplish? Is it moving the story line forward, developing characters? Is the alcohol (or drug) use a character in the story? Is the use moving us towards certain events or understanding?”

Documentaries offer a particularly interesting opportunity to explore drug and alcohol use and decisions to use. “How did h/she start out as x and end up at y” are real scenarios you can discuss with your child.

The Tiger King (shelter-in-place sensation), for example, portrays unbelievable drug-induced drama/outcomes, especially among the Oklahoma contingent.

Answers?

You really want to listen to your kid’s response and explore with them, especially at this time when most of us have nowhere to go to get away from a heated conversation. This is not necessarily the time to make a point. Certainly, it’s not the time to start a fight. Sharing your perspective is good, however, i.e. “I’m finding the drug use a little distracting; I’m not sure so much alcohol is necessary for me to get the point the writer is making; I wish she wasn’t a user, it’s making me sad.”

If you need to make a point, do what feels authentic, “I would die if that happened to you; please don’t ever use x, y or z.”

Of note, if the discussion gets to it, “abstinence” is always the right position for a parent to take, however if it’s going to push you into fight, many can find common ground around “delay, delay, delay.” Delaying first use is a powerful protective factor that many parents find they can stand strong behind and their kids will keep talking.